gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
