There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
