"it" just moved
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize