Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
