while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
