Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
