No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
