grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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