I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
