Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Randomize
