id be glad to
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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