To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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