I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
