dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
