At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
