It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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