Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
