is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
