I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
