Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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