I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
