so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
