Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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