Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
