I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
