I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My butt remains clenched, sir.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
