Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
