Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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