you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
