I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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