I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize