Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
