we're blogging at a bar
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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