is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
