hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
