good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you will always have a special place in my vag
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
