It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
