I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
