i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
