Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
