im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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