i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
