help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
