we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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