I'll bet she douches with gravy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize