Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
