since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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