btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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