It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize