she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
