Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
