Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Boobs speak an international language.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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