Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
