Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize