I got chris browned last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
