South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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