a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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