you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
