at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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