i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
