Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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