WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
