also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
