it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
