I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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