im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
